WHAT IF MY SPOUSE RETALIATES AGAINST ME FOR FILING FOR DIVORCE?
The decision to divorce can be made suddenly or after a long period of disagreement between spouses. No matter the situation, emotions can run very high upon filing for divorce. After learning of the divorce filing, a spouse may react with anger or jealousy. The law protects spouses from some forms of retaliation, but not all types. Below is an overview of common types of retaliation and legal remedies available.
What if I am a victim of Physical Retaliation after I file for Divorce?
Physical retaliation by a spouse is actionable while a divorce is pending, just like it would be if there were no divorce filing. If a spouse physically attacks the other, the victim has a claim for civil battery. This means that a jury can hear about the incident, and the victim may be awarded monetary damages. Physical abuse will also likely carry criminal components. However, criminal cases do not result in monetary damages for the victim. Instead, criminal cases may result in probation or jail time for the abuser.
The victim of a physical attack or threat of a physical attack may also seek a Protection from Abuse Order under § 60-3107. This order can be filed in court, and once granted, will prevent the abusive spouse from coming near the victim. An order may also be obtained by a spouse when the other spouse abuses the children. This order will control access to the home, usually prohibiting the abusive spouse from entering the property. These orders are the most common types of protective orders in a pending divorce.
What if I am a victim of Verbal Abuse and Harassment after I file for Divorce?
Victims of verbal abuse may also have an independent legal claim against the retaliating spouse. Verbal abuse can lead to a claim of assault by placing the victim in fear of being physically abused. It can also lead to a claim of intentional infliction of emotional distress, known as the tort of outrage. Intentional infliction of emotional distress requires outrageous actions by the retaliating spouse that are meant to cause severe emotional harm. This means that for the emotional or verbal abuse to be an independent legal claim, it must be extreme. Criminal law prohibits a wide variety of activities, like telephone harassment and stalking. However, criminal prosecutions do not offer any redress for the victim’s suffering in the form of monetary damages; rather, criminal prosecutions only serve to punish the abuser or harasser.
A Protection from Abuse Order is not available for emotional or verbal abuse. These orders are only available for physical abuse, sexual abuse, or threatened physical or sexual abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse is actionable through other legal means, but a Protection from Abuse Order does not prevent the abusing spouse from having contact with the victim. This means that the abusing spouse will still be allowed to enter the marital home as he or she wishes.
What if I am a victim of my Spouse Destroying Property or Spending Shared Accounts after I file for Divorce?
Property division must occur in every divorce, and the court must make a fair distribution of all property between the spouses. One factor the court considers when dividing property is the squandering of assets. When a divorce is filed, each spouse has an undetermined interest in all property owned by the couple or either spouse. During this time, the property cannot be destroyed or given away without the permission of each spouse. This could happen when one spouse destroys the marital home by intentionally flooding it or making holes in the walls. It could also occur when one spouse burns through the couple's money, including withdrawing and hiding funds or purchasing expensive items that benefit only one spouse. Generally, the court will credit the squandering spouse’s share of the property with the value of what was lost or spent if a spouse has squandered or destroyed any assets. This means that the court treats the squandering spouse as having received the amount of whatever they squandered when determining how to divide the remaining property. For example, if one spouse gave away $10,000 of the couple’s money, then that spouse’s portion of the property would be reduced by $10,000.
What if I am a victim of Social Retaliation after I file for Divorce?
Perhaps the most common type of retaliation following a divorce filing is social. Social retaliation can have devastating emotional effects on a spouse already going through a painful divorce process, for example, if a spouse encourages other people to ostracize the other spouse for filing for divorce. Unfortunately, the law cannot redress every unpleasant or immoral act that individuals can commit against one another. Though social retaliation is highly undesirable, there is no legal remedy available to the victims. This is true for all forms of social retaliation in church or religious groups, amongst friends, and even neighbors.
However, one exception to this is when one spouse lies about the other. If the spouse lies about the other spouse’s actions and the victim’s reputation is harmed, the law may be able to provide redress in the form of a slander claim. However, slander claims can be tricky because they require a very invasive discovery process, particularly if the slanderous statement concerned sexual activities. Even if the victim prevails after a long, invasive process, the monetary damages are often minimal. Therefore, even in the case of damaging lies, social retaliation is often brutal for the legal system to redress.
Filing for divorce is a complex process that is further complicated by retaliation. Fortunately, some forms of retaliation can quickly be addressed by the legal system. On the other hand, some take a great deal of time and offer minimal reward, and some simply cannot be redressed by the legal system. It is essential to contact experienced legal counsel to determine what options are available to stop and redress retaliation by your spouse. You must keep your attorney informed of all types of retaliation your spouse may commit after learning of the divorce filing.